








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 117 matches | ||
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Esplay | 9 matches | 1,559 | |
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




139 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5184 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,501 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4507 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3045 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3277 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1672 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,900,118 of utility $251 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 761 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jms | 62% | 66 |
| #2 | Lasse | 52% | 246 |
| #3 | JP | 51% | 74 |
| #4 | horsecock | 49% | 190 |
| #5 | Jorgo | 49% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Lasse | 52% | 246 |
| #3 | JP | 51% | 74 |
| #4 | horsecock | 49% | 190 |
| #5 | Jorgo | 49% | 197 |
| #6 | ustu lebs | 46% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lasse | 84 | 0.0182 |
| #2 | horsecock | 32 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | JP | 20 | 0.0148 |
| #4 | Jorgo | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Jms | 9 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lasse | 327 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | Jorgo | 294 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | horsecock | 271 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Jms | 263 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | JP | 184 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jms | +4.31 | 67 | 78 |
| #2 | JP | +3.25 | 72 | 49 |
| #3 | Lasse | +3.08 | 77 | 40 |
| #4 | RIKANOL | +0.38 | 65 | 45 |
| #5 | Jorgo | +0.33 | 73 | 63 |





