










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1361 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Esplay | 21 matches | 2,014 | |
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4606 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,928 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5908 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5703 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3781 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4536 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $671,432 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 370 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RIKANOL | 62% | 66 |
| #2 | Jorgo | 60% | 106 |
| #3 | Lasse | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | horsecock | 57% | 42 |
| #5 | JP | 52% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Lasse | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | horsecock | 57% | 42 |
| #5 | JP | 52% | 88 |
| #6 | Setä samuli | 52% | 62 |
| #7 | JN | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JP | 17 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | RIKANOL | 10 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Lasse | 8 | 0.0173 |
| #4 | horsecock | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Jorgo | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JP | 222 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | JN | 167 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | Setä samuli | 145 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | RIKANOL | 116 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jorgo | 114 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jms | +2.58 | 67 | 76 |
| #2 | Lasse | +1.16 | 80 | 53 |
| #3 | JP | +0.54 | 68 | 55 |
| #4 | JN | -0.43 | 67 | 64 |
| #5 | RIKANOL | -0.82 | 70 | 46 |





