








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 527 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Esplay | 12 matches | 1,656 | |
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2194 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,746 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1564 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2500 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1831 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1851 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $489,957 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 217 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jorgo | 56% | 41 |
| #2 | Lasse | 55% | 49 |
| #3 | muppeee | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | Jms | 52% | 88 |
| #5 | RIKANOL | 51% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | mikkeli bandit.gg | 44% | 18 |
| #9 | Vagisan6000 | 38% | 21 |
| #10 | SaleePulu | 38% | 21 |
| #11 | Setä samuli | 35% | 23 |
| #12 | Elmer | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lasse | 17 | 0.0183 |
| #2 | RIKANOL | 14 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | horsecock | 10 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Jms | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | mikkeli bandit.gg | 5 | 0.0138 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jms | 404 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | JN | 292 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #3 | horsecock | 169 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | mikkeli bandit.gg | 125 | 0.35 | 3 min |
| #5 | RIKANOL | 119 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muppeee | +2.81 | 66 | 71 |
| #2 | Lasse | +2.52 | 76 | 45 |
| #3 | Jms | +2.02 | 63 | 76 |
| #4 | JP | +1.53 | 69 | 50 |
| #5 | SaleePulu | +0.85 | 74 | 56 |





