








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 239 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2386 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 359 | 4% |
| Smokes | 1992 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2969 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 3076 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,594,470 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Granny | 66% | 41 |
| #2 | dro | 62% | 42 |
| #3 | ππππ€ | 61% | 254 |
| #4 | π·ππππππ | 57% | 371 |
| #5 | Granny | 56% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | π·ππππππ | 57% | 371 |
| #5 | Granny | 56% | 165 |
| #6 | GamerDad | 56% | 235 |
| #7 | divorced dad | 50% | 135 |
| #8 | Gramps | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π·ππππππ | 24 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Granny | 15 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | GamerDad | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | ππππ€ | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | dro | 4 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GamerDad | 443 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | π·ππππππ | 426 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #3 | ππππ€ | 307 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Granny | 191 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | dro | 148 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dro | +5.21 | 75 | 62 |
| #2 | Granny | +4.51 | 62 | 58 |
| #3 | Granny | +3.85 | 60 | 63 |
| #4 | π·ππππππ | +3.73 | 57 | 55 |
| #5 | GamerDad | +3.61 | 61 | 59 |





