








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 172 matches | ||
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4124 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,272 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1095 | 26% |
| Smokes | 563 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1202 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1412 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $149,069 of utility $12 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Granny | 70% | 47 |
| #2 | dro | 58% | 59 |
| #3 | π·ππππππ | 56% | 138 |
| #4 | Gramps | 55% | 56 |
| #5 | Granny | 53% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Gramps | 55% | 56 |
| #5 | Granny | 53% | 36 |
| #6 | ππππ€ | 52% | 139 |
| #7 | πΈπππ¦ | 50% | 135 |
| #8 | GamerDad | 49% | 477 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GamerDad | 23 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | π·ππππππ | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | ππππ€ | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | dro | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | πΈπππ¦ | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GamerDad | 1032 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #2 | ππππ€ | 193 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | dro | 175 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | π·ππππππ | 153 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Granny | 127 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dro | +4.45 | 71 | 62 |
| #2 | Granny | +4.41 | 64 | 57 |
| #3 | Gramps | +2.94 | 56 | 68 |
| #4 | GamerDad | +2.85 | 55 | 61 |
| #5 | π·ππππππ | +2.53 | 52 | 56 |





