








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 921 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7858 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,061 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3621 | 18% |
| Smokes | 6434 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 6183 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3823 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,487,822 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 550 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dro | 70% | 47 |
| #2 | ππππ€ | 64% | 232 |
| #3 | GamerDad | 60% | 390 |
| #4 | πΈπππ¦ | 56% | 380 |
| #5 | divorced dad | 54% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dro | 70% | 47 |
| #2 | ππππ€ | 64% | 232 |
| #3 | GamerDad | 60% | 390 |
| #4 | πΈπππ¦ | 56% | 380 |
| #5 | divorced dad | 54% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GamerDad | 25 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | ππππ€ | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | πΈπππ¦ | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | divorced dad | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | dro | 3 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GamerDad | 758 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #2 | ππππ€ | 251 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | dro | 136 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | divorced dad | 72 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | πΈπππ¦ | 4 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dro | +4.85 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | π·ππππππ | +2.97 | 58 | 54 |
| #3 | GamerDad | +2.95 | 58 | 60 |
| #4 | ππππ€ | +0.23 | 30 | 49 |
| #5 | divorced dad | -1.58 | 79 | 28 |





