








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 842 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7706 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,657 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3490 | 18% |
| Smokes | 6310 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 6087 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3770 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,424,898 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 534 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dro | 70% | 47 |
| #2 | ππππ€ | 64% | 229 |
| #3 | GamerDad | 61% | 376 |
| #4 | πΈπππ¦ | 57% | 371 |
| #5 | divorced dad | 56% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dro | 70% | 47 |
| #2 | ππππ€ | 64% | 229 |
| #3 | GamerDad | 61% | 376 |
| #4 | πΈπππ¦ | 57% | 371 |
| #5 | divorced dad | 56% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GamerDad | 25 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | ππππ€ | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | πΈπππ¦ | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | divorced dad | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | dro | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GamerDad | 727 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #2 | ππππ€ | 237 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | dro | 149 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | divorced dad | 68 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | πΈπππ¦ | 3 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dro | +4.85 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | GamerDad | +3.07 | 59 | 59 |
| #3 | π·ππππππ | +2.97 | 58 | 54 |
| #4 | ππππ€ | +0.15 | 30 | 49 |
| #5 | divorced dad | -1.52 | 79 | 28 |





