








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 365 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 294 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 242 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 54 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12732 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,738 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8911 | 22% |
| Smokes | 12474 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 9541 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 8812 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,571,974 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 849 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dro | 64% | 120 |
| #2 | ππππ€ | 61% | 244 |
| #3 | π·ππππππ | 61% | 376 |
| #4 | πΈπππ¦ | 56% | 235 |
| #5 | divorced dad | 49% | 477 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dro | 64% | 120 |
| #2 | ππππ€ | 61% | 244 |
| #3 | π·ππππππ | 61% | 376 |
| #4 | πΈπππ¦ | 56% | 235 |
| #5 | divorced dad | 49% | 477 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π·ππππππ | 20 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | divorced dad | 14 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ππππ€ | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | dro | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | πΈπππ¦ | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π·ππππππ | 398 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #2 | dro | 383 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | ππππ€ | 316 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | divorced dad | 279 | 0.03 | 8 min |
| #5 | πΈπππ¦ | 3 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dro | +4.12 | 72 | 63 |
| #2 | GamerDad | +2.42 | 58 | 60 |
| #3 | π·ππππππ | +1.81 | 52 | 53 |
| #4 | ππππ€ | -0.83 | 28 | 50 |
| #5 | divorced dad | -2.52 | 84 | 23 |





