








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 678 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 322 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 261 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 54 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13396 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,433 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9931 | 23% |
| Smokes | 13172 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 9975 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 9355 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,712,206 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dro | 64% | 120 |
| #2 | ππππ€ | 61% | 244 |
| #3 | π·ππππππ | 60% | 390 |
| #4 | πΈπππ¦ | 54% | 241 |
| #5 | divorced dad | 48% | 515 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dro | 64% | 120 |
| #2 | ππππ€ | 61% | 244 |
| #3 | π·ππππππ | 60% | 390 |
| #4 | πΈπππ¦ | 54% | 241 |
| #5 | divorced dad | 48% | 515 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π·ππππππ | 20 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | divorced dad | 14 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | ππππ€ | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | dro | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | πΈπππ¦ | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π·ππππππ | 427 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #2 | dro | 345 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | ππππ€ | 315 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | divorced dad | 297 | 0.03 | 8 min |
| #5 | πΈπππ¦ | 3 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dro | +4.12 | 72 | 63 |
| #2 | GamerDad | +2.31 | 57 | 61 |
| #3 | π·ππππππ | +1.82 | 52 | 53 |
| #4 | ππππ€ | -0.83 | 28 | 50 |
| #5 | divorced dad | -2.54 | 84 | 22 |





