








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3419 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4383 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4385 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2504 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3562 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $609,499 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝐙𝐞𝐞𝐤 | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | 𝑷𝒂𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒕 | 70% | 47 |
| #3 | GamerDad | 64% | 120 |
| #4 | 𝐸𝑚𝑚𝑦 | 62% | 42 |
| #5 | Haunt | 60% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GamerDad | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | venikue | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Haunt | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | divorced dad | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | 𝑷𝒂𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒕 | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GamerDad | +1.80 | 59 | 59 |
| #2 | dro | +1.53 | 66 | 62 |
| #3 | 𝑷𝒂𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒕 | +1.25 | 39 | 55 |
| #4 | Haunt | +0.17 | 49 | 33 |
| #5 | venikue | -0.33 | 50 | 58 |





