








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 394 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3324 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,170 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1662 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2771 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2328 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1409 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,224,817 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 686 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Overkill | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | GamerDad | 58% | 53 |
| #3 | ππππ€ | 57% | 88 |
| #4 | πΈπππ¦ | 56% | 165 |
| #5 | ButtonMasher99 | 55% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ππππ€ | 57% | 88 |
| #4 | πΈπππ¦ | 56% | 165 |
| #5 | ButtonMasher99 | 55% | 51 |
| #6 | divorced dad | 53% | 36 |
| #7 | Gramps | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππππ€ | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | GamerDad | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | πΈπππ¦ | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | ButtonMasher99 | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Overkill | 2 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππππ€ | 134 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | GamerDad | 122 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Overkill | 96 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | ButtonMasher99 | 95 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Gramps | 41 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Granny | +3.27 | 62 | 56 |
| #2 | GamerDad | +2.90 | 56 | 54 |
| #3 | ππππ€ | +0.58 | 33 | 52 |
| #4 | Gramps | -0.03 | 59 | 60 |
| #5 | Overkill | -0.06 | 27 | 59 |





