








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 486 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 211 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 169 matches | ||
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 89 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3169 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,225 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5502 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3850 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5364 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5509 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,244,355 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1037 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bärk | 44% | 77 |
| #2 | R1chard | 43% | 218 |
| #3 | Pepe | 43% | 468 |
| #4 | tumeegod | 42% | 379 |
| #5 | Adezzki | 40% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr | 51 | 0.0145 |
| #2 | Pepe | 49 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | elkku | 29 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | tumeegod | 18 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | R1chard | 15 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tumeegod | 2529 | 0.34 | 70 min |
| #2 | mr | 1191 | 0.34 | 23 min |
| #3 | Pepe | 1143 | 0.12 | 26 min |
| #4 | elkku | 758 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #5 | R1chard | 618 | 0.14 | 14 min |





