








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 237 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 179 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5264 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,469 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11176 | 33% |
| Smokes | 7874 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6858 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 7561 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,800,006 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1042 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adezzki | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | sande | 59% | 41 |
| #3 | Papa Sam✫ | 56% | 64 |
| #4 | R1chard | 51% | 271 |
| #5 | Pepe | 48% | 451 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr | 49 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | Nysky | 36 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Pepe | 32 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | elkku | 25 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | R1chard | 14 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr | 1465 | 0.33 | 31 min |
| #2 | Nysky | 1451 | 0.20 | 26 min |
| #3 | Pepe | 1140 | 0.13 | 23 min |
| #4 | elkku | 882 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #5 | R1chard | 840 | 0.15 | 19 min |





