








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 975 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 87 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5477 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,882 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4394 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3017 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2826 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3645 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,515,221 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Pepe | 49% | 368 |
| #8 | mr | 48% | 211 |
| #9 | elkku | 46% | 292 |
| #10 | Nysky | 43% | 218 |
| #11 | reinika4ine | 42% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr | 57 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | Pepe | 30 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Nysky | 28 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | elkku | 22 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Adezzki | 21 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tumeegod | 1693 | 0.31 | 46 min |
| #2 | mr | 1499 | 0.36 | 31 min |
| #3 | Nysky | 873 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #4 | Pepe | 834 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #5 | elkku | 556 | 0.09 | 11 min |





