








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 961 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 228 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 113 matches | ||
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8076 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,606 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5382 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7274 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5501 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6449 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,862,372 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1703 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papa Sam✫ | 55% | 49 |
| #2 | sande | 53% | 43 |
| #3 | Bärk | 53% | 74 |
| #4 | Adezzki | 50% | 128 |
| #5 | R1chard | 49% | 368 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr | 75 | 0.0138 |
| #2 | Nysky | 45 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | elkku | 31 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | tumeegod | 22 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | R1chard | 22 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tumeegod | 2943 | 0.33 | 81 min |
| #2 | mr | 1878 | 0.35 | 38 min |
| #3 | Nysky | 1644 | 0.18 | 28 min |
| #4 | R1chard | 1107 | 0.15 | 25 min |
| #5 | elkku | 965 | 0.10 | 18 min |





