








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 476 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 50 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




108 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3965 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,972 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6869 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5200 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5269 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4634 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $477,299 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 479 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sande | 65% | 49 |
| #2 | Bärk | 51% | 49 |
| #3 | reinika4ine | 50% | 50 |
| #4 | R1chard | 48% | 211 |
| #5 | Adezzki | 47% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adezzki | 28 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | Nysky | 26 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Pepe | 25 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | R1chard | 22 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | sande | 22 | 0.0240 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tumeegod | 1428 | 0.33 | 40 min |
| #2 | Nysky | 679 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #3 | Pepe | 663 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #4 | R1chard | 626 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #5 | elkku | 535 | 0.11 | 12 min |





