








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1362 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,386 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 720 | 52% |
| Smokes | 224 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 269 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 173 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $98,454 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 76561199499863391 | 66% | 29 |
| #2 | THE RАРЕ SHIRT KID | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | DERANGED GROPER | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | DISABLED TRANS RAINWEAR BOY | 60% | 25 |
| #5 | guy | 60% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | 76561199805382069 | 57% | 14 |
| #7 | petal | 54% | 13 |
| #8 | Jacob Grups | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | Noname | 41% | 22 |
| #10 | Noname | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DISABLED TRANS RAINWEAR BOY | 21 | 0.0501 |
| #2 | 76561199499863391 | 20 | 0.0406 |
| #3 | Noname | 20 | 0.0515 |
| #4 | guy | 19 | 0.0244 |
| #5 | petal | 12 | 0.0594 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 138 | 0.36 | 2 min |
| #2 | 76561199499863391 | 99 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | DISABLED TRANS RAINWEAR BOY | 94 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jacob Grups | 45 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| #5 | 76561199805382069 | 44 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 76561199652830102 | +8.30 | 88 | 32 |
| #2 | DISABLED TRANS RAINWEAR BOY | +8.18 | 87 | 36 |
| #3 | Noname | +7.53 | 80 | 24 |
| #4 | 76561199805382069 | +7.47 | 84 | 28 |
| #5 | 76561199499863391 | +5.51 | 75 | 25 |





