








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




126 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2107 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,521 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1504 | 60% |
| Smokes | 271 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 558 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 188 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $286,569 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 76561198385580749 | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | DERANGED GROPER | 79% | 14 |
| #3 | 76561199805382069 | 67% | 18 |
| #4 | Jacob Grups | 58% | 26 |
| #5 | guy | 56% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | DISABLED TRANS RAINWEAR BOY | 54% | 13 |
| #7 | Noname | 52% | 21 |
| #8 | immi | 44% | 18 |
| #9 | 76561199652830102 | 41% | 22 |
| #10 | petal | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guy | 37 | 0.0219 |
| #2 | petal | 33 | 0.0767 |
| #3 | 76561199652830102 | 22 | 0.0570 |
| #4 | Noname | 18 | 0.0542 |
| #5 | Jacob Grups | 16 | 0.0344 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 76561199652830102 | 90 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #2 | 76561199805382069 | 70 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #3 | Jacob Grups | 68 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Noname | 50 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | immi | 50 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DERANGED GROPER | +13.21 | 88 | 48 |
| #2 | 76561199805382069 | +11.97 | 90 | 44 |
| #3 | DISABLED TRANS RAINWEAR BOY | +10.91 | 86 | 30 |
| #4 | 76561198385580749 | +9.73 | 95 | 42 |
| #5 | 76561199652830102 | +9.70 | 86 | 18 |





