








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 347 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 266 matches | ||
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3425 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3375 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3747 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3481 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2729 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,468,277 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEHE=D | 71% | 28 |
| #2 | ziiffi | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | LK | 59% | 37 |
| #4 | Orkkis | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | ✝ | 55% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Thimbaa | 44% | 70 |
| #12 | Jmaister | 44% | 25 |
| #13 | JoL | 41% | 32 |
| #14 | Mrs.Jellonas | 41% | 32 |
| #15 | leiska57 | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pinkviini | 13 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | JuusOskari | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | piupali | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Falco | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Thimbaa | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JuusOskari | 619 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #2 | Pinkviini | 478 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | ✝ | 434 | 0.30 | 11 min |
| #4 | Thimbaa | 390 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #5 | piupali | 264 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEHE=D | +2.38 | 38 | 75 |
| #2 | ✝ | +1.32 | 39 | 77 |
| #3 | JuusOskari | +0.98 | 56 | 70 |
| #4 | Pinkviini | +0.91 | 61 | 61 |
| #5 | piupali | +0.68 | 66 | 68 |





