








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1030 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 461 matches | ||
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,386 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12115 | 34% |
| Smokes | 9749 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5870 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 7652 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,410,860 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaakelberg | 56% | 86 |
| #2 | Mebisa | 55% | 60 |
| #3 | Hatsib♡b | 51% | 89 |
| #4 | urbanurger | 49% | 455 |
| #5 | tomaattilordi | 49% | 378 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Arttu01 | 48% | 126 |
| #9 | Creaticide | 47% | 226 |
| #10 | Waliho | 46% | 339 |
| #11 | ping meister 420 ez | 45% | 269 |
| #12 | Blunt | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urbanurger | 14 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Kaakelberg | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | tomaattilordi | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | ping meister 420 ez | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Waliho | 4 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urbanurger | 2039 | 0.20 | 55 min |
| #2 | Waliho | 1700 | 0.23 | 52 min |
| #3 | ping meister 420 ez | 1544 | 0.26 | 45 min |
| #4 | tomaattilordi | 506 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #5 | Creaticide | 506 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaakelberg | +1.82 | 76 | 67 |
| #2 | JM | +1.56 | 82 | 62 |
| #3 | Hapsu | +1.44 | 69 | 76 |
| #4 | Blunt | +1.29 | 76 | 56 |
| #5 | Arttu01 | +0.19 | 39 | 51 |





