








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 887 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 323 matches | ||
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,399 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11393 | 31% |
| Smokes | 9595 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7732 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 7679 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $940,447 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | man of sex | 56% | 98 |
| #2 | Arttu01 | 51% | 55 |
| #3 | JM | 50% | 113 |
| #4 | urbanurger | 50% | 383 |
| #5 | Creaticide | 50% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Blunt | 49% | 47 |
| #8 | Waliho | 48% | 308 |
| #9 | Hapsu | 45% | 269 |
| #10 | tomaattilordi | 45% | 236 |
| #11 | Kaakelberg | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urbanurger | 11 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | tomaattilordi | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Waliho | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Hapsu | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Kaakelberg | 4 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urbanurger | 1601 | 0.19 | 41 min |
| #2 | Waliho | 1349 | 0.20 | 41 min |
| #3 | Hapsu | 1199 | 0.20 | 33 min |
| #4 | tomaattilordi | 372 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | man of sex | 268 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | man of sex | +1.80 | 69 | 65 |
| #2 | Blunt | +1.43 | 78 | 59 |
| #3 | JM | +1.22 | 85 | 63 |
| #4 | Kaakelberg | +0.98 | 72 | 68 |
| #5 | Hapsu | +0.95 | 65 | 78 |





