








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 235 matches | ||
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5362 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,007 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3699 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4029 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3749 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3530 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,694,036 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 383 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Waliho | 50% | 216 |
| #8 | Hapsu | 48% | 185 |
| #9 | tomaattilordi | 48% | 170 |
| #10 | Creaticide | 48% | 122 |
| #11 | Kaakelberg | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urbanurger | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Waliho | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Hapsu | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | tomaattilordi | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Creaticide | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urbanurger | 1243 | 0.23 | 34 min |
| #2 | Hapsu | 940 | 0.22 | 25 min |
| #3 | Waliho | 930 | 0.19 | 29 min |
| #4 | ping meister 420 ez | 715 | 0.28 | 21 min |
| #5 | Creaticide | 295 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blunt | +2.03 | 79 | 47 |
| #2 | JM | +1.97 | 84 | 61 |
| #3 | Kaakelberg | +1.83 | 82 | 67 |
| #4 | Hapsu | +0.87 | 65 | 77 |
| #5 | Arttu01 | +0.37 | 39 | 53 |





