








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 344 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 271 matches | ||
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5717 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,237 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4834 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5492 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4589 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6322 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,064,800 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaakelberg | 58% | 89 |
| #2 | Lalsu | 54% | 50 |
| #3 | Hatsib♡b | 52% | 60 |
| #4 | Tunkki | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | ping meister 420 ez | 50% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urbanurger | 15 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Hatsib♡b | 10 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | Hapsu | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | tomaattilordi | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Kaakelberg | 5 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urbanurger | 1295 | 0.23 | 34 min |
| #2 | Waliho | 1039 | 0.23 | 32 min |
| #3 | Hapsu | 884 | 0.18 | 25 min |
| #4 | ping meister 420 ez | 552 | 0.25 | 16 min |
| #5 | tomaattilordi | 396 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaakelberg | +2.42 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | JM | +1.80 | 85 | 61 |
| #3 | Blunt | +1.70 | 79 | 47 |
| #4 | Hapsu | +1.53 | 71 | 76 |
| #5 | Arttu01 | +0.82 | 39 | 50 |





