








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1682 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 912 matches | ||
| Faceit | 403 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14260 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 81,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 24405 | 30% |
| Smokes | 18138 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 20172 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 18622 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,473,985 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1079 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blunt | 55% | 100 |
| #2 | urbanurger | 50% | 723 |
| #3 | JM | 50% | 216 |
| #4 | ping meister 420 ez | 48% | 308 |
| #5 | tomaattilordi | 48% | 416 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Hatsib♡b | 47% | 297 |
| #7 | Creaticide | 47% | 213 |
| #8 | Kaakelberg | 46% | 125 |
| #9 | Hapsu | 46% | 339 |
| #10 | Arttu01 | 46% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urbanurger | 43 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Hatsib♡b | 27 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | tomaattilordi | 12 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Hapsu | 11 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | ping meister 420 ez | 10 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urbanurger | 2988 | 0.19 | 78 min |
| #2 | ping meister 420 ez | 1807 | 0.27 | 53 min |
| #3 | Hapsu | 1463 | 0.20 | 40 min |
| #4 | Hatsib♡b | 987 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #5 | tomaattilordi | 530 | 0.06 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaakelberg | +2.55 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | Blunt | +1.62 | 79 | 51 |
| #3 | JM | +1.44 | 83 | 63 |
| #4 | Hapsu | +1.25 | 67 | 77 |
| #5 | Waliho | +0.57 | 75 | 84 |





