








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 392 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 235 matches | ||
| Faceit | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3002 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,238 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1145 | 12% |
| Smokes | 3234 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3018 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1841 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,106,861 of utility $271 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glizzy Champ | 55% | 65 |
| #2 | Gligga | 55% | 159 |
| #3 | 2Big | 55% | 343 |
| #4 | Akame | 54% | 98 |
| #5 | 42 BMI Elige | 53% | 523 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Gligga | 55% | 159 |
| #3 | 2Big | 55% | 343 |
| #4 | Akame | 54% | 98 |
| #5 | 42 BMI Elige | 53% | 523 |
| #6 | Obama Bin Slobbin | 51% | 322 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 42 BMI Elige | 31 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Obama Bin Slobbin | 25 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | 2Big | 11 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Gligga | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Akame | 7 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 42 BMI Elige | 1440 | 0.13 | 33 min |
| #2 | Obama Bin Slobbin | 884 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #3 | 2Big | 759 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #4 | Akame | 356 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #5 | Gligga | 352 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glizzy Champ | +1.65 | 48 | 46 |
| #2 | 42 BMI Elige | +1.61 | 59 | 62 |
| #3 | Gligga | +1.06 | 44 | 45 |
| #4 | Akame | +0.16 | 46 | 53 |
| #5 | 2Big | -0.21 | 43 | 48 |





