








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 695 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 362 matches | ||
| Faceit | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 130 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4413 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,044 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5980 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6067 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6322 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4675 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,706,454 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 794 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gligga | 54% | 171 |
| #2 | 2Big | 54% | 336 |
| #3 | Glizzy Champ | 51% | 70 |
| #4 | Spedro | 51% | 322 |
| #5 | 42 BMI Elige | 51% | 554 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Glizzy Champ | 51% | 70 |
| #4 | Spedro | 51% | 322 |
| #5 | 42 BMI Elige | 51% | 554 |
| #6 | Akame | 48% | 48 |
| #7 | Please Kill Me My Life Is A Meme | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 42 BMI Elige | 33 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Gligga | 15 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Please Kill Me My Life Is A Meme | 12 | 0.0122 |
| #4 | 2Big | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Spedro | 4 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 42 BMI Elige | 1542 | 0.13 | 36 min |
| #2 | 2Big | 773 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #3 | Gligga | 376 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | Spedro | 324 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #5 | Akame | 155 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glizzy Champ | +1.77 | 48 | 46 |
| #2 | Gligga | +1.11 | 43 | 44 |
| #3 | 42 BMI Elige | +1.02 | 59 | 63 |
| #4 | Akame | +0.15 | 46 | 53 |
| #5 | 2Big | -0.27 | 44 | 46 |





