








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 400 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 115 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
867 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,823 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 421 | 15% |
| Smokes | 898 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 795 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 709 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $664,586 of utility $330 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spedro | 55% | 65 |
| #2 | 2Big | 55% | 58 |
| #3 | 42 BMI Elige | 53% | 81 |
| #4 | Obama Bin Slobbin | 51% | 70 |
| #5 | Mizu | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spedro | 55% | 65 |
| #2 | 2Big | 55% | 58 |
| #3 | 42 BMI Elige | 53% | 81 |
| #4 | Obama Bin Slobbin | 51% | 70 |
| #5 | Mizu | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mizu | 3 | 0.0303 |
| #2 | 42 BMI Elige | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Obama Bin Slobbin | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | 2Big | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obama Bin Slobbin | 267 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | 42 BMI Elige | 249 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | 2Big | 235 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | Spedro | 55 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mizu | 29 | 0.29 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mizu | +5.64 | 90 | 56 |
| #2 | Glizzy Champ | +1.75 | 50 | 45 |
| #3 | 42 BMI Elige | -0.23 | 61 | 65 |
| #4 | 2Big | -0.61 | 46 | 55 |
| #5 | Obama Bin Slobbin | -0.66 | 41 | 61 |





