










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 723 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 464 matches | ||
| Faceit | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 158 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8733 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,130 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7540 | 20% |
| Smokes | 13274 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 7810 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 8506 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,757,055 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 536 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glizzy Champ | 53% | 81 |
| #2 | Spedro | 53% | 523 |
| #3 | 2Big | 52% | 595 |
| #4 | Gligga | 52% | 318 |
| #5 | Obama Bin Slobbin | 51% | 554 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 2Big | 52% | 595 |
| #4 | Gligga | 52% | 318 |
| #5 | Obama Bin Slobbin | 51% | 554 |
| #6 | Akame | 50% | 185 |
| #7 | Please Kill Me My Life Is A Meme | 36% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obama Bin Slobbin | 50 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Gligga | 35 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | 2Big | 18 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Spedro | 12 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Akame | 12 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obama Bin Slobbin | 1531 | 0.13 | 31 min |
| #2 | 2Big | 1125 | 0.09 | 24 min |
| #3 | Gligga | 827 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #4 | Akame | 707 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #5 | Spedro | 468 | 0.04 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glizzy Champ | +2.03 | 49 | 45 |
| #2 | 42 BMI Elige | +1.44 | 58 | 60 |
| #3 | Gligga | +0.93 | 45 | 47 |
| #4 | Akame | -0.22 | 46 | 51 |
| #5 | 2Big | -0.40 | 44 | 47 |





