








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 427 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3779 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,205 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3742 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4296 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2572 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3595 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,629,014 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glizzy Champ | 55% | 58 |
| #2 | Spedro | 55% | 343 |
| #3 | Obama Bin Slobbin | 54% | 336 |
| #4 | 42 BMI Elige | 52% | 595 |
| #5 | Akame | 51% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 42 BMI Elige | 49 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Gligga | 29 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Obama Bin Slobbin | 28 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Please Kill Me My Life Is A Meme | 17 | 0.0166 |
| #5 | Spedro | 11 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 42 BMI Elige | 1648 | 0.13 | 38 min |
| #2 | Obama Bin Slobbin | 911 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #3 | Gligga | 700 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #4 | Akame | 438 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #5 | Spedro | 317 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glizzy Champ | +1.91 | 46 | 45 |
| #2 | 42 BMI Elige | +1.38 | 59 | 61 |
| #3 | Gligga | +1.12 | 47 | 46 |
| #4 | 2Big | -0.44 | 44 | 47 |
| #5 | Akame | -0.60 | 46 | 53 |





