








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1257 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,057 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 710 | 23% |
| Smokes | 774 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 924 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 649 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $265,226 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gramps | 76% | 21 |
| #2 | ButtonMasher99 | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | divorced dad | 70% | 47 |
| #4 | GamerDad | 68% | 28 |
| #5 | πΈπππ¦ | 66% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | divorced dad | 70% | 47 |
| #4 | GamerDad | 68% | 28 |
| #5 | πΈπππ¦ | 66% | 41 |
| #6 | π·ππππππ | 63% | 30 |
| #7 | ππππ€ | 63% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π·ππππππ | 9 | 0.0152 |
| #2 | ππππ€ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | πΈπππ¦ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π·ππππππ | 75 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | ππππ€ | 56 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Gramps | 52 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | GamerDad | 48 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | divorced dad | 30 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π·ππππππ | +6.74 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | Granny | +3.28 | 70 | 52 |
| #3 | Gramps | +2.32 | 58 | 70 |
| #4 | GamerDad | +2.25 | 61 | 64 |
| #5 | ππππ€ | -0.61 | 28 | 58 |





