








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1086 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,145 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1208 | 23% |
| Smokes | 932 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1655 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1350 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $273,771 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr.F_O_X_Y | 50% | 10 |
| #2 | dahling | 46% | 85 |
| #3 | Casi | 42% | 105 |
| #4 | mikken | 40% | 124 |
| #5 | tasta22 | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Casi | 42% | 105 |
| #4 | mikken | 40% | 124 |
| #5 | tasta22 | 36% | 11 |
| #6 | Mauts | 35% | 17 |
| #7 | Anders | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mikken | 14 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Casi | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Anders | 6 | 0.0118 |
| #4 | dahling | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | tasta22 | 4 | 0.0181 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Casi | 333 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | mikken | 247 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | dahling | 204 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Mauts | 42 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Anders | 23 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tasta22 | +6.60 | 76 | 41 |
| #2 | Dr.F_O_X_Y | +6.57 | 69 | 65 |
| #3 | Casi | +2.23 | 42 | 60 |
| #4 | Mauts | +1.29 | 36 | 34 |
| #5 | Anders | +0.44 | 26 | 39 |





