








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
717 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,724 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 639 | 37% |
| Smokes | 394 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 636 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 55 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $131,361 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr.F_O_X_Y | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | Shenzo | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Casi | 56% | 41 |
| #4 | Anders | 55% | 42 |
| #5 | mikken | 54% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Anders | 55% | 42 |
| #5 | mikken | 54% | 74 |
| #6 | iamTJ | 50% | 4 |
| #7 | dahling | 43% | 30 |
| #8 | soveg | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anders | 22 | 0.0246 |
| #2 | mikken | 19 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | Casi | 7 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | dahling | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | soveg | 2 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Casi | 182 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | mikken | 134 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | dahling | 75 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Anders | 37 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | soveg | 18 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr.F_O_X_Y | +15.76 | 67 | 54 |
| #2 | Shenzo | +8.35 | 67 | 43 |
| #3 | Mauts | +2.75 | 34 | 47 |
| #4 | Casi | +1.67 | 37 | 65 |
| #5 | iamTJ | +1.63 | 85 | 60 |





