








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1909 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,401 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1323 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1006 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1688 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1384 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $634,139 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 191 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bjaars | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Casi | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | mikken | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | SadFrog | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | Spice | 47% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | SadFrog | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | Spice | 47% | 47 |
| #6 | FakeNorwegian | 44% | 41 |
| #7 | Tinky Winky Off The Perc | 43% | 100 |
| #8 | soveg | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spice | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | SadFrog | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Casi | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | soveg | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tinky Winky Off The Perc | 450 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | SadFrog | 274 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #3 | Casi | 56 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | FakeNorwegian | 34 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Spice | 32 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Casi | +2.22 | 39 | 64 |
| #2 | Tinky Winky Off The Perc | +2.07 | 76 | 62 |
| #3 | tasta22 | +1.38 | 67 | 55 |
| #4 | Spice | +0.13 | 71 | 52 |
| #5 | SadFrog | -0.34 | 39 | 72 |





