










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
695 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,271 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1146 | 35% |
| Smokes | 232 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 1270 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 623 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $416,975 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 521 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FaLcon | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Reckless | 60% | 163 |
| #3 | Mr Baklava | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | Tubbers | 58% | 90 |
| #5 | kennyS | 56% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Tubbers | 58% | 90 |
| #5 | kennyS | 56% | 170 |
| #6 | M N Carlton | 55% | 38 |
| #7 | StoneyParnell | 51% | 74 |
| #8 | Buck | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reckless | 61 | 0.0190 |
| #2 | kennyS | 44 | 0.0131 |
| #3 | Tubbers | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | StoneyParnell | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | M N Carlton | 3 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reckless | 558 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | kennyS | 305 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | Tubbers | 137 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | M N Carlton | 103 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | StoneyParnell | 84 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reckless | +9.49 | 89 | 54 |
| #2 | kennyS | +3.32 | 61 | 49 |
| #3 | M N Carlton | +1.48 | 57 | 71 |
| #4 | FaLcon | +1.24 | 71 | 34 |
| #5 | Tubbers | +0.74 | 51 | 49 |





