








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2028 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 702 matches | ||
| Wingman | 249 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 63 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




173 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,666 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10474 | 31% |
| Smokes | 9020 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8640 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5532 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,310,653 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3553 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M N Carlton | 63% | 94 |
| #2 | ✪ dr0p | 59% | 97 |
| #3 | FaLcon | 56% | 133 |
| #4 | Drippy Cat | 56% | 170 |
| #5 | Reckless | 55% | 750 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | StoneyParnell | 49% | 287 |
| #8 | LiquidWater | 46% | 226 |
| #9 | Token | 45% | 95 |
| #10 | InsiteV | 44% | 130 |
| #11 | Buck | 41% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reckless | 160 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | InsiteV | 28 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | Drippy Cat | 17 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | StoneyParnell | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | ✪ dr0p | 9 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reckless | 1887 | 0.13 | 46 min |
| #2 | LiquidWater | 440 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | Tubbers | 431 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | Drippy Cat | 351 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | FaLcon | 340 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reckless | +5.77 | 82 | 52 |
| #2 | ✪ dr0p | +3.92 | 87 | 53 |
| #3 | LiquidWater | +1.88 | 68 | 54 |
| #4 | Token | +1.47 | 80 | 53 |
| #5 | FaLcon | +1.08 | 73 | 49 |





