










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1460 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,347 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 680 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1973 | 59% |
| HE Grenades | 180 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 514 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $766,698 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hank Schrader | 74% | 34 |
| #2 | droo | 69% | 45 |
| #3 | Private War Daddy | 56% | 176 |
| #4 | squidy | 51% | 74 |
| #5 | HAWGHUNTER | 49% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | squidy | 51% | 74 |
| #5 | HAWGHUNTER | 49% | 102 |
| #6 | Jwil | 49% | 287 |
| #7 | Buck | 32% | 31 |
| #8 | Unc | 23% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jwil | 53 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Private War Daddy | 53 | 0.0154 |
| #3 | squidy | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | HAWGHUNTER | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | droo | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Private War Daddy | 516 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | Jwil | 458 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #3 | HAWGHUNTER | 159 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | squidy | 136 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | droo | 129 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Private War Daddy | +8.76 | 83 | 54 |
| #2 | Hank Schrader | +8.07 | 85 | 63 |
| #3 | droo | +1.95 | 67 | 35 |
| #4 | Jwil | +1.52 | 51 | 47 |
| #5 | HAWGHUNTER | -0.93 | 44 | 44 |





