








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2844 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 406 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 74 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 140 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




201 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14273 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,062 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6952 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5807 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 8255 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 5048 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,135,619 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1889 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M N Carlton | 62% | 159 |
| #2 | Drippy Cat | 60% | 163 |
| #3 | Tubbers | 58% | 189 |
| #4 | StoneyParnell | 56% | 176 |
| #5 | kennyS | 55% | 750 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | kennyS | 55% | 750 |
| #6 | FaLcon | 55% | 151 |
| #7 | ✪ dr0p | 51% | 76 |
| #8 | Buck | 40% | 65 |
| #9 | Mr Baklava | 39% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kennyS | 94 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | FaLcon | 15 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Drippy Cat | 14 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | M N Carlton | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | ✪ dr0p | 8 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kennyS | 1246 | 0.08 | 30 min |
| #2 | M N Carlton | 441 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | FaLcon | 357 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | Drippy Cat | 321 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Tubbers | 312 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reckless | +5.24 | 83 | 52 |
| #2 | ✪ dr0p | +1.21 | 84 | 47 |
| #3 | FaLcon | +0.50 | 74 | 46 |
| #4 | kennyS | -0.00 | 50 | 51 |
| #5 | Tubbers | -0.77 | 41 | 50 |





