








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 340 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1031 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,681 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1177 | 32% |
| Smokes | 590 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1317 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 597 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $587,255 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1300 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Svampen | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | BALzACK | 50% | 110 |
| #3 | SvampGösta | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | Dog of Leader | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | juul | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | juul | 44% | 36 |
| #6 | bLIT | 43% | 21 |
| #7 | Jojon40 | 41% | 71 |
| #8 | Baloo | 40% | 30 |
| #9 | UberEats Lammet | 36% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jojon40 | 54 | 0.0397 |
| #2 | BALzACK | 38 | 0.0172 |
| #3 | UberEats Lammet | 30 | 0.0370 |
| #4 | juul | 18 | 0.0249 |
| #5 | Svampen | 7 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BALzACK | 563 | 0.25 | 15 min |
| #2 | Jojon40 | 184 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Baloo | 180 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #4 | UberEats Lammet | 163 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | bLIT | 157 | 0.35 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dog of Leader | +6.79 | 79 | 57 |
| #2 | BALzACK | +5.26 | 90 | 64 |
| #3 | juul | +3.22 | 80 | 54 |
| #4 | Svampen | +2.03 | 86 | 69 |
| #5 | Baloo | +1.61 | 52 | 44 |





