








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1558 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1295 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1746 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1624 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $844,985 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | bLIT | 54% | 35 |
| #6 | SvampGösta | 54% | 26 |
| #7 | BALzACK | 49% | 90 |
| #8 | Bablino | 44% | 36 |
| #9 | Jojon40 | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Svampen | 454 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | BALzACK | 454 | 0.25 | 13 min |
| #3 | bLIT | 301 | 0.42 | 8 min |
| #4 | Baloo | 285 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | Bablino | 84 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BALzACK | +3.51 | 87 | 66 |
| #2 | juul | +2.79 | 79 | 57 |
| #3 | Svampen | +1.62 | 86 | 65 |
| #4 | Baloo | +0.35 | 66 | 58 |
| #5 | bLIT | +0.14 | 72 | 73 |





