








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 615 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,673 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4262 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,891 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4541 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3373 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2667 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3310 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,315,227 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 298 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | bLIT | 51% | 41 |
| #8 | Musha | 50% | 24 |
| #9 | Baloo | 50% | 84 |
| #10 | BALzACK | 49% | 78 |
| #11 | Mr. Hands | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juul | 23 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | BALzACK | 13 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | SvampGösta | 11 | 0.0142 |
| #4 | MurkaS#1 | 8 | 0.0114 |
| #5 | bLIT | 6 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BALzACK | 443 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #2 | Baloo | 350 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | bLIT | 308 | 0.34 | 8 min |
| #4 | juul | 274 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | Blom | 139 | 0.22 | 3 min |





