








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 93 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1816 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,771 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3098 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1825 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2297 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1551 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $703,870 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 501 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juul | 58% | 66 |
| #2 | Misblit | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | bLIT | 51% | 35 |
| #4 | Svampen | 50% | 84 |
| #5 | BALzACK | 48% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bLIT | 51% | 35 |
| #4 | Svampen | 50% | 84 |
| #5 | BALzACK | 48% | 82 |
| #6 | Bablino | 40% | 30 |
| #7 | SvampGösta | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BALzACK | 12 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Svampen | 10 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | juul | 10 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Bablino | 7 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | SvampGösta | 7 | 0.0180 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BALzACK | 427 | 0.27 | 11 min |
| #2 | Svampen | 300 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | bLIT | 235 | 0.33 | 6 min |
| #4 | juul | 130 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Bablino | 70 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juul | +2.42 | 75 | 60 |
| #2 | BALzACK | +2.28 | 89 | 65 |
| #3 | Svampen | +1.16 | 83 | 66 |
| #4 | Misblit | +0.93 | 78 | 36 |
| #5 | Baloo | +0.86 | 65 | 58 |





