








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1239 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 79 matches | ||
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




86 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4254 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,090 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6220 | 44% |
| Smokes | 3434 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2558 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1878 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,207,427 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1459 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bLIT | 50% | 30 |
| #2 | Bablino | 50% | 110 |
| #3 | juul | 49% | 90 |
| #4 | Svampen | 49% | 78 |
| #5 | Baloo | 48% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Svampen | 49% | 78 |
| #5 | Baloo | 48% | 82 |
| #6 | SvampGösta | 43% | 44 |
| #7 | UberEats Lammet | 39% | 67 |
| #8 | Jojon40 | 38% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jojon40 | 86 | 0.0368 |
| #2 | UberEats Lammet | 60 | 0.0474 |
| #3 | Bablino | 40 | 0.0181 |
| #4 | juul | 33 | 0.0186 |
| #5 | Svampen | 17 | 0.0107 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baloo | 428 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #2 | Jojon40 | 310 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | Svampen | 288 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | Bablino | 278 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | UberEats Lammet | 259 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BALzACK | +4.23 | 89 | 67 |
| #2 | Svampen | +1.98 | 87 | 67 |
| #3 | juul | +1.76 | 79 | 56 |
| #4 | bLIT | +1.30 | 73 | 58 |
| #5 | Baloo | +0.61 | 57 | 55 |





