








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 337 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




86 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
846 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,817 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1099 | 39% |
| Smokes | 574 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 564 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 580 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $333,145 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 649 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SvampGösta | 43% | 7 |
| #2 | BALzACK | 39% | 67 |
| #3 | Bablino | 36% | 44 |
| #4 | Jojon40 | 33% | 84 |
| #5 | juul | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SvampGösta | 43% | 7 |
| #2 | BALzACK | 39% | 67 |
| #3 | Bablino | 36% | 44 |
| #4 | Jojon40 | 33% | 84 |
| #5 | juul | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jojon40 | 67 | 0.0413 |
| #2 | BALzACK | 21 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | Bablino | 19 | 0.0222 |
| #4 | juul | 4 | 0.0268 |
| #5 | SvampGösta | 3 | 0.0204 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BALzACK | 396 | 0.30 | 9 min |
| #2 | Jojon40 | 222 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Bablino | 127 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | SvampGösta | 15 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | juul | 9 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BALzACK | +6.37 | 94 | 65 |
| #2 | juul | +1.01 | 74 | 34 |
| #3 | SvampGösta | +0.15 | 68 | 47 |
| #4 | Bablino | -0.11 | 70 | 49 |
| #5 | UberEats Lammet | -1.62 | 57 | 42 |





