








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
263 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 400 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 256 | 64% |
| Smokes | 47 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 79 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 18 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $22,589 of utility $28 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hzdai | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | FL45H | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Ordinatis | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | jedi_bk | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | Gabe | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not Bibo | 5 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | Gabe | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Ordinatis | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | jedi_bk | 1 | 0.0128 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gabe | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | Ordinatis | 43 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | Not Bibo | 17 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | jedi_bk | 15 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #5 | Worlds worst HOI4 Player | 12 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hzdai | +7.12 | 80 | 67 |
| #2 | Ordinatis | +6.73 | 72 | 55 |
| #3 | Worlds worst HOI4 Player | +1.84 | 71 | 46 |
| #4 | FL45H | +0.19 | 53 | 49 |
| #5 | Ringing Rabbit | -0.84 | 23 | 31 |





