








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 839 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 195 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5655 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,030 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4299 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2220 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 6063 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 2448 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,250,335 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4528 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quantum | 75% | 36 |
| #2 | 나는 귀여운 새끼 고양 | 65% | 51 |
| #3 | hzdai | 60% | 208 |
| #4 | TheRacingRover | 57% | 51 |
| #5 | Quantum♿ | 57% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Worlds worst HOI4 Player | 50% | 326 |
| #10 | Legal Name | 50% | 143 |
| #11 | Not Bibo | 48% | 86 |
| #12 | Ringing Rabbit | 48% | 200 |
| #13 | Gabe | 45% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hzdai | 57 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | Worlds worst HOI4 Player | 35 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Legal Name | 27 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | FL45H | 19 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | Not Bibo | 12 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Legal Name | 756 | 0.26 | 18 min |
| #2 | Worlds worst HOI4 Player | 625 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | hzdai | 437 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | jedi_bk | 389 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #5 | FL45H | 357 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ordinatis | +3.70 | 82 | 57 |
| #2 | hzdai | +3.55 | 83 | 58 |
| #3 | Quantum | +3.20 | 72 | 59 |
| #4 | Quantum♿ | +2.52 | 65 | 58 |
| #5 | Worlds worst HOI4 Player | -0.07 | 53 | 50 |





