








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 482 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 125 matches | ||
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3517 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,907 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3492 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2681 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3096 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2638 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $345,447 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 312 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crash | 79% | 42 |
| #2 | shugg | 75% | 56 |
| #3 | Quantum | 72% | 18 |
| #4 | lmtlss | 71% | 35 |
| #5 | Quantum♿ | 71% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | MerliN | 47% | 60 |
| #11 | Legal Name | 43% | 49 |
| #12 | Worlds worst HOI4 Player | 39% | 98 |
| #13 | Gabe | 33% | 24 |
| #14 | Not Bibo | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hzdai | 20 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | Ordinatis | 17 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | shugg | 7 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Legal Name | 7 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | Worlds worst HOI4 Player | 5 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ordinatis | 346 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | Legal Name | 219 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | Worlds worst HOI4 Player | 177 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | hzdai | 159 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | crash | 158 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shugg | +6.24 | 92 | 63 |
| #2 | Quantum♿ | +3.70 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | crash | +3.55 | 71 | 55 |
| #4 | Quantum | +3.04 | 75 | 49 |
| #5 | Ordinatis | +3.03 | 82 | 54 |





