








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 500 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4128 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,066 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3005 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1474 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 3334 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2253 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,890,857 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | MerliN | 48% | 162 |
| #11 | Ringing Rabbit | 43% | 214 |
| #12 | FL45H | 39% | 98 |
| #13 | Not Bibo | 37% | 65 |
| #14 | Gabe | 35% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ordinatis | 55 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | hzdai | 34 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | Legal Name | 28 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | FL45H | 19 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | Ringing Rabbit | 8 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ordinatis | 1017 | 0.15 | 25 min |
| #2 | Legal Name | 971 | 0.28 | 22 min |
| #3 | jedi_bk | 372 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | hzdai | 300 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | FL45H | 284 | 0.14 | 4 min |





