








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 550 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,084 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5102 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3562 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2915 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3505 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,416,337 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 中華製 | 66% | 53 |
| #2 | deafblind | 61% | 38 |
| #3 | nayu | 60% | 199 |
| #4 | k1p! | 60% | 114 |
| #5 | 唐辛氏 | 58% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | omeshima | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | miyA | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | nayu | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | v0rtex0q | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | k1p! | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nayu | 741 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #2 | miyA | 732 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #3 | omeshima | 478 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | ALTO | 340 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #5 | 中華製 | 306 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 中華製 | +4.05 | 92 | 72 |
| #2 | k1p! | +2.79 | 82 | 60 |
| #3 | miyA | +2.33 | 72 | 71 |
| #4 | iAMTSUJ1 | +0.91 | 76 | 57 |
| #5 | nayu | +0.41 | 81 | 68 |





