








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 107 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,767 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2840 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3182 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1806 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2939 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $819,213 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 中華製 | 84% | 19 |
| #2 | LeoTsun | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | deafblind | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | miyA | 60% | 138 |
| #5 | hiiragi | 60% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | omeshima | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | nayu | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | hiiragi | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | miyA | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | v0rtex0q | 4 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miyA | 558 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #2 | nayu | 547 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #3 | hiiragi | 434 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #4 | omeshima | 372 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | v0rtex0q | 166 | 0.13 | 4 min |





