








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 182 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 217 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4562 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,379 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3650 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3955 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1951 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2823 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,969,333 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | deafblind | 57% | 61 |
| #7 | nayu | 57% | 253 |
| #8 | k1p! | 57% | 160 |
| #9 | hiiragi | 57% | 215 |
| #10 | v0rtex0q | 44% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nayu | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | miyA | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | hiiragi | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | k1p! | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | v0rtex0q | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miyA | 1047 | 0.20 | 25 min |
| #2 | nayu | 957 | 0.19 | 26 min |
| #3 | hiiragi | 842 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #4 | v0rtex0q | 451 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #5 | k1p! | 340 | 0.11 | 9 min |





