








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 478 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1908 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,827 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 901 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1664 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 981 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1281 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $680,808 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THES1MPG0D | 52% | 25 |
| #2 | Fred | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | THG♥ | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | Roach AL | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | supr3m♥ | 48% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | supr3m♥ | 48% | 88 |
| #6 | Sammy De | 47% | 85 |
| #7 | bandit | 36% | 47 |
| #8 | RaZeD | 31% | 39 |
| #9 | WickedShaman | 10% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | supr3m♥ | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | RaZeD | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | bandit | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | THES1MPG0D | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Roach AL | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | supr3m♥ | 176 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Sammy De | 124 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | bandit | 75 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | RaZeD | 74 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Roach AL | 66 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fred | +2.66 | 75 | 52 |
| #2 | Roach AL | +2.12 | 86 | 48 |
| #3 | supr3m♥ | +1.56 | 75 | 58 |
| #4 | ' Ant ' | +1.17 | 72 | 54 |
| #5 | THG♥ | +0.03 | 70 | 59 |





