








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 346 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1195 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,545 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1319 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2063 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1579 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1584 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $864,086 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THG♥ | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | xpanddoge | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | Fred | 53% | 45 |
| #4 | Alanizer7 | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | supr3m♥ | 43% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | bandit | 32% | 59 |
| #11 | ' Ant ' | 31% | 39 |
| #12 | g1n | 27% | 11 |
| #13 | W0lfy2 | 26% | 19 |
| #14 | Roach AL | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | supr3m♥ | 11 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | bandit | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | THES1MPG0D | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | ' Ant ' | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | THG♥ | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | supr3m♥ | 166 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | Sammy De | 134 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | xpanddoge | 131 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | bandit | 82 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | THG♥ | 80 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fred | +2.85 | 79 | 52 |
| #2 | xpanddoge | +2.62 | 52 | 74 |
| #3 | supr3m♥ | +2.56 | 74 | 56 |
| #4 | Alanizer7 | +1.31 | 54 | 42 |
| #5 | THG♥ | +1.11 | 64 | 57 |





